Any Other World
by saywhatyouneedtosay
Summary: Hey fellow House-Lovers! This is my first fan-fic and it's kind of an analysis / interpretation of Cameron’s point of view POV on Human Error.. I was inspired by the song "Any Other World" by Mika, you will see why in the last chapter. Now completed!
1. Chapter 1

Draft

_Hey fellow House-Lovers!_

_This is my first fan-fic and it's kind of a__n analysis / interpretation of Cameron's point of view (POV) on Human Error.. I was inspired by the song "Any Other World" by Mika, hence the title. I hope you like it and feel free to comment_**_!_**

** 1. ****A Change is Gonna Come **

He, angry Cuban, Esteban, loving husband, had done everything for his wife, loved her unconditionally, never abandoned her,hell, he had crossed the freaking ocean on a tiny little boat with nothing but paddles and hope to rely on.

Envy flooded through her, Allison's, body, along with guilt, anger, despair. Feelings which reinforced the one that had been drowning her. Hatred.

She used to be a naive, caring, sweet, tender but week woman who used to look out for others, who did everything she could to see people happy. She used to be selfless.

And now?

She had started a friends-with-benefits relationship with a man she worked with and of which she knew deep inside that he cared for her and would end up hurt. All just to fulfil her sexual needs. Despiteful. Primitive even.

And yet she had grown angry at Chase and blamed him for her guilt over having hurt him. She made fun of his love for her.

To get rid of her weaknessshe had become so cold, so detached, she hadn't even been able to realize her own feelings.

And it all happened for and because of _him. _The one who crushed her over and over, the one who faked cancer to get high, the one and only miserable bastard she just had to fall for.

But now it was enough. She couldn't subject herself to it, to him, anymore without loosing herself. She had to stop loving him to stop hating herself, this new ugly her she had become.

--

Fired? Fired?! Fired. Because it was time for a change. Sure.

Foreman wouldn't actually demand of House to fire Chase, for all his tough talk, she believed he cared for him. House was lashing out, not knowing what to do to prevent change, to stop people from leaving him without admitting he needed them. He had gone into self-destructive-House-mode.

Meanwhile, the case seemed lost. There was absolutely nothing left to do. Love alone hadn't been able to save her, but as physician she knew that. So why did it hurt anyway?

Chase called her, he wanted to talk to her. First though, she wanted to say good-bye to Foreman. She looked at the framed document with Foreman's highlighted article.

He was her friend, and she hoped to eliminate with her gift whatever guilt he may still be feeling about stealing her article (and stabbing her with an infected needle). She had witnessed all his failed relationships, his non-existent friends, his remorse and frustration over the patient he, they, killed.

But she had also noticed that he seemed to be able to open up to her, even if just a little. So she wrapped her gift for him hoping it would remind him that he has a friend in her, one who cared for him and he could talk to. Of course Cameron didn't expect him to admit that, just like House Foreman never liked to show any more emotion than needed. Still, he _had_ recognized that he was becoming more and more like House, so there was some hope.


	2. Chapter 2

2

_Disclaimer: I don't own House MD, at all, not even a little bit._

**2. ****Decisions she did and didn't make**

Cameron packed the gift and wondered what Chase wanted to talk about.

Would he ask her once again to be with him? Would he just say goodbye? Would he want to stay friends?

She was growing more and more anxious. She hadn't been able to decide what her feelings for him meant. Or rather, she just couldn't understand them.

Whenever she thought about him she felt as if something was fighting inside of her.

As if she was trying to keep a door shut while trying to open it, to set free…what?

She was afraid, but Cameron knew that in order to make a decision she had to conquer that fear.

After all, even if they stayed just friends, he was worth the effort.

Whenever she was in his presence she felt secure and often happy. He gave her the confidence to do things she used to be too afraid to do. His touch made her feel good, and not only because of the memories of him touching her…elsewhere, but because of the connection they seemed to share.

So when she thought that this could be the last time she ever saw him, she panicked; whatever he was to her she didn't want to lose him.

Calming down, she looked into the mirror. Cameron knew Chase liked it when she wore her hair open. And he had once told her he found her cute when she wore pink lipstick. She didn't wear it for work because she thought it wasn't professional. On the other side, being caught making out in a closet by your boss, was, well, unprofessional enough not to be worrying about lipstick.

So, she took her bag and put on her shoes, and walked to the door where she put out the light. Opening her door, she wondered what this day would yet become: the day she found true love, the day she was paralyzed by fear, the day she found her best friend, the day she lost a beloved, in whatever sense, person?

Closing the door, she set out to find it out…or run away?

A/N: I'm sorry this is developing at such a slow pace, but please review and tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I don't own House MD, at all, not even a little bit._

**3. Meetings**

A Miracle. It bugged House to no end. And Foreman. And it would bug Chase to the point of making him believe in God again if he was still working with them.

"Okay, scratch the last part, I am trying to be nicer to him." She immediately thought afterwards.

Sighing she pondered about her meetings with Foreman and Chase.

Her gift actually got to Foreman, something she was thankful and happy for. A smile crept across her face when she thought about how he thanked and hugged her. She was right after all; there was still some hope for him.

And then there was her meeting with Chase.

It was confusing to say the least. She was glad that he liked how she looked since she had put some extra effort in her appearance for him. Even House had noticed, though it made her a little sad that he also knew that it wasn't really meant for him.

But she wasn't sure if she could believe Chase what he told her about being fired. She had always had the feeling that Chase saw House as a kind of paternal figure in his life, as crazy as that thought might seem. If Chase was okay with being dismissed again did that mean that he was over his father issues?

Still, what surprised her most was that he apologized about telling her he liked her every Tuesday, "their" day! She felt sadness, regret and doubt surge through her mind. Damn.

Though his instant invitation to join him for dinner the second she told him she would miss him relieved her a little.

The truth was, she wasn't yet sure what to do about Chase.

Her decision about House was, more or less, clear: She had to leave him. From a professional point of view it was the worst thing to do. Because in spite of its' controversy she loved her job. But for her personal life leaving and starting over was the only sane thing to do. She couldn't stay to be House's only fellow, either she would go mad or she would…go mad.

Okay, what or who was she thinking about again? Chase, right!

She was obviously attracted to him physically there was no point in denying that. But what could be beyond that was what scared her out of her mind. She didn't want to walk into an emotional black hole again. She wanted, and yes, needed someone to love her back and not only suck up all her feelings leaving her bereft of anything but pain and hate.

Would and could Chase do that? Be her "knight in shining armour"? After all he did have a reputation as a womanizer…

Ugh, House was paging her. Well she'd better go and see what he wanted her for.

A/N: So here you go, I really hope you like it! Please review!!


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I don't own House MD, at all, not even a little bit._

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! This is the final chapter, I hope you like it! I put pieces of the song "Any Other World" by Mika in between Cameron's thoughts, I hope it's not confusing… Please R&R!

**4. ****Leaving**

It had been God's error. Sometimes House being right could be downright annoying.

He had diagnosed an unprecedented case, ironically just before she quit. As if he tried to show her what opportunity she was going to miss.

_In any other world _

_You could tell the difference _

_And let it all unfurl _

_Into broken reverence_

_Smile like you mean it_

_And let yourself let go_

Still, in Cameron's eyes the recovery of her patient remained a miracle. Really, what were the odds of her heart starting to beat again just when House switched off the machines and her husband laid his head on her heart? They could call her naïve, crazy, hopelessly romantic, but for her it was a miracle. And to see the couple happy at last gave her the final courage she needed to have to go through with her plan, hoping everything would turn up alright.

She looked at House and sighed. She would try a relationship with Chase and quit today. The thought of leaving everything she felt for House behind nearly paralyzed her. But she needed to get over it; all she would keep was her respect for him and his job.

Just then House looked at her, so she smiled, trying to mean it and trying to let go.

_Later…_

_I tried to live alone _

_But lonely is so lonely alone_

_So human as I am _

_I had to give up my defences_

_So I smiled and tried to mean it_

_To let myself let go_

She was standing in front of Chase's apartment, trying to work up the courage to start whatever was about to start with him. She sighed. She really had tried to wait for House. She had tried to live alone, but being lonely was so painful. After all she was just human, she couldn't just put up defences against everyone but the man who hurt her again and again.

So she knocked and waited nervously. When he opened she smiled, hoping that he wouldn't notice how broken she was. Because that was the one thing she was sure to find in him: hope and maybe a way to let herself let go of the past.

_Later…_

She now was officially Chase's girlfriend. Seeing him so happy about the choice she had made nearly made her regret her choice. It's not that she didn't want him to be happy, but it hurt her to be partly lying to him, the last thing she wanted was to see him suffer.

But now she was sitting on House's chair, behind his desk. And all she could think of was her soon to be former boss. She remembered all the good times: the non-date, the Christmas presents, the bike-ride, the kiss, oh yeah, the kiss. Another thing she worked hard on trying to forget and not compare. Yet, the bad times were on her mind too: the real date, the time he faked cancer, when he was shot, and so many other times. They far outweighed the few good moments they had had together.

A shuffling pace interrupted her thoughts and she knew at once: House was coming, goodbye was coming.

_Cause its all in the hands of a bitter__, bitter man_

_Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in_

_Take a bow play the part of a lonely, lonely heart_

_Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in, to the world you thought you lived in_

When Cameron stood up and handed him her resignation letter hope stole it's way inside her heart, against all reason and most of her will. Maybe he would admit not wanting her to leave him but to be with him?

But as soon as he asked her about her intentions behind her resignation she chastised herself for being such a fool. And that short ray of foolishness, for hope it could not be called, made her realize that her choice hadn't really been her choice at all.

She had laid all her heart in the hands of that bitter man. He had dug himself a place in her life while neglecting her presence in his own life, his world, but at work. Every time she had had to make a choice concerning him, he had been the one making it. Because no matter what she wanted, what he wanted had been always superior to that. With one word he could have made her destroy her resignation letter, break up with Chase, whatever.

But no more. He had given her a chance to escape, and she was taking that chance. She needed to learn how to say no to him, to have her own will decide when in his presence.

To his question, asked as the bitter lonely boss he was, she would answer as an employee would and finally say goodbye to the world she thought she lived in.

And she gave him a smile, a real one, trying to hide her love with the respect and affection an employee owed an employer. A smile she had never given Chase, but nobody had noticed.

_In any other world you could tell the difference__…_


End file.
